Miss Representation.

Met a man at a Christmas party the other night. After talking to him for 2 seconds he said, with the most arrogance I've ever heard..

'You don't need to do anything else, you've already seduced me with your voice, let's go.'

Most certainly popping on my feminist hat right now.

That comment is everything wrong with the world today, specifically male attitudes to women, and media portrayal of women. I recently watched an amazing documentary called Miss Representation, discussing these issues. Their over-sexualisation and objectification in media, the subsequent impact on society, how women are treated as a direct result of media representation.
It's all quite sickening. But knowledge is power, baby.

Back to the party, Mr Charmer (and I am not at all suggesting the view of this loser reflects the entire sphere of male opinion) is obviously under the impression that as a woman, I am present for the sole purpose of looking hot/flirtation/seduction. With the end goal of hanging off his arm, trophy style/him getting some action.

Where does he get the idea, the tiniest shred of notion that not only is it okay to have these ideas, but that it is acceptable to unashamedly mention them in conversation?

In my opinion, the answer is, Media. Women are so openly trashed on tv, books, the Internet and film that I struggle myself to see their portrayed purpose beyond looks, sex, and male affiliation.

It's all well and good for the adult women of the world (though research shows we have a truckload of image issues ourselves) but I worry for the girls and teenagers.
The 8 year old anorexics & 14 year old self harmers immersed in a media world portraying images of women, faces and bodies they could never live up to.
Honestly, I could write about this for a lot longer. I know there's no quick fix, by a long shot. But Jennifer Siebel and her documentary make a hugely positive start.

Get involved in the movement: MissRepresentation.org

Here's the trailer: MissRepresentationTrailer

Twitter: #NotBuyingIt to name & shame sexist/offensive media  MissRepresentationTwitter

This Week I..

was inspired - kids books are my sole form of literature so clearly I'm biased, but that's deep! 

made my first vegan cake - carrot cake for M's birthday 

vegan food is disgusting. this tub literally tasted like car grease 

went to Oaklands Art Murmur/First Friday - a street festival carnival art thing. amazing. 

drove highway 1 and saw the most gorgeous beaches, bays and coves

Great 7 days!

'fat nation'

Running four times a week, swimming twice a week, pilates twice and occasional yoga.

Exhausted, but mega paranoid about getting fat here.

.. That should do it.

New Girl

Tonight, I was that girl. A new girl.

The girl who chats to her waiter in a restaurant.

And then writes her number on the receipt, and leaves it with the tip. 

Brazen hussy! Who is this girl?!

A girl who gets results apparently.. 

'Hey its me from the restaurant. It was nice to talk to you, we should definitely hang out.'

New girl: 1 Old girl: 0.  

Absolutely Loving It

Okay, apologies in advance if this is a ridiculously hippy, happy post.

Actually no, I don't apologise. That's something I'm learning from the Americans (or from Berkeley at least) - I do not have to apologise for any feelings, emotions, or idiosyncrasies I may or may not convey.

I had a great weekend. Friday night I went to SF with M and some guys, we danced the night away (until 1 am that is, when our feet hurt and we hobbled home). Didn't sleep until 3 though, girly time. Then Saturday I woke up at 7, worked for an hour, and went shopping with M in SF. First time I've been to San Francisco in the daytime, and the first time I've felt christmassy since I moved here. Loved it.

Saturday night went to a thanksgiving meal & dance with C and M, in Concord, about half an hour away. That was a hilariously strange night in a way that only Mormons can be hilarious and strange.
We really are a peculiar people. But again, no apology necessary, we are what we are.
Some people are just weirdos, and we love them anyway.
Then I went back to C, M & A's gorgeous apartment and we all watched The Kings Speech, chatted, and braided each others hair.
'I totally feel like I'm at a sleepover right now'

Sunday was church, which was, as always, a pleasure. There was incredible food after, and it was so nice to sit down and eat with everyone. By this point however, I was running low on social and physical energy.

I hate missing out on opportunities to socialise because of tiredness, I hate it.
As Bob Wright said 'You can sleep when you're dead'.
He's so right, and I've lived by that ever since. I certainly did this weekend, by 3pm Sunday after talking with my family and friends (Ashlee, made me so happy to Skype <3) I was dead.
I usually hang out on Sunday nights with a few friends at C's house, and I wanted to go.
So I slept for a couple hours, and went over. I wasn't there for long, but I just like being with those guys, enjoying their company.

Today, back to work. It was a nice day, the extended family are here since its thanksgiving this week. Finished work at 5 and then had spanish class. Finished class at 9 (actually 930 but ditched the last bit) and had yoga at church. Lush.
Then M and I went to an adorable late night cafe. Mexican hot chocolate, good company and hours of laughter make for a beautiful end to a day.

I'm so grateful to God for sending me out here, and the people He has put in my path.
I usually enjoy life, and try to be positive.
But here, I don't at all need to try, I am completely and utterly in love with life at the moment.

Accent Strikes Again

Earlier, I parked the spaceship Americans call a car. There was a car behind me, but not in front. I am terrible at manoeuvring that thing, and I was hoping no-one would park in front of me, blocking me in.

Of course, this was the school pick-up, all bets are off. Its a vicious scene, parking spots are like the last dress in a 75% off sale.

When I returned, 3 children in hand, a mini was parked, RIGHT in front of me. Her bumper was touching my front.

This lady was just getting out of the car and looked ready to throw down. 

But I decided to take all my strength, emphasised T's, English politeness and ask.. 

'Excuse me, I'm terribly sorry but could you please, please move your car forward so I can get out?' 

I've never sounded so posh in my life. 

But results were exquisite. 

Her facial expression went from anger to confusion, as her ears adjusted. Then wonder, amusement, and finally.. Putty. 

'Oh sure! Well yes, yes of course!' 

Later, I was at the park, again, 3 children in hand. Only people around were man and son. I was somewhat on guard as it was just before sunset. Man instantly starts talking to us, the kids start playing with his kid. 

Man: 'Wait are you from England?' 

Ah crap. 

'Yep. KIDS, we're not staying long..'

'Oh cool! Whereabouts?'  

'London-Hey, you guys be CAREFUL!!' 

'London that's so great, yea, you have an accent. (This always strikes me as odd. I have an accent? Golly, hadn't realised.) I have 2 children in Germany so I often go to London (Again, I get this often. As if all European locations are within a 5 mile radius), yea I have 2 children in Morocco too. Ohh look, look at what Josa is about to do, watch, watch him!'

The kid then jumps off some beam. 

Riveting stuff. 

His dad then proceeds to basically give me the kids Match.com profile: The child can speak German, is learning Judo, can speak Spanish, loves to travel, is learning Mandarin, he does baseball, likes pina coladas and getting caught in the rain. Blah, blah blah.  

Point is, if I'd been American  I don't think these sorts of slightly irritating, kind of creepy conversations would take place. But I also wouldn't be treated like the queen on occasion.

So I put it to you dear readers.. Gift or Curse? 

The British Way?

Overheard an 'English' accent today from a couple, I got really excited and walked over.

'Well that's accent I don't hear everyday, where are you guys from?!'
'England. We're on holiday here.'
They then gave a curt nod and walked away.

That's awkward.

1 of 3 options here..

1. They didn't get that I was also English. (Which isn't a possibility because though initially I struggled with 'The Twang', I've been fighting hard, and now sound right as rain.)

2. I've assimilated to the Californian way and expect everyone to talk freely. I've had so many conversations here with randomers that I've embraced it. I embraced it in England too, just didn't happen as often there.

3. Most likely option: Stiff upper lip syndrome. They were being typically English, and therefore assumed that as a result of my approaching their space I was likely to kill/threaten/embarrass/hassle/beg or all of the above.
Heaven forbid we have a short chinwag and then cheerfully part ways, joyful in the glow of  fellow human interaction.

Goodness, whatever was I thinking?

My morning run..

Man oh man

Just got back from dinner with M.

Well, what was supposed to be dinner with M, but she brought some guys from san fran and made a party!

So fun.
Eating good italian food, laughing all night and being with great people is one of my favourite things in life. Always has been, turns out there's no change across the world.

Man I'm hanging out with so many guys on the regular. In england, the ysa* scene had such sad ratios, I got used to being the 6th girl to every male in any given social situation.

Here its like the opposite, men men men.

Especially with M and I, there'll be like 5 guys and us 2.
I've missed that, from a purely platonic place (honest).
Coming from an all male home (bar mama) I've always been slightly more comfortable hanging with guys, and I missed that in england.

Also, guys here will actually have a conversation with you regardless of their feelings toward you. Initially at least.
In england guys will unashamedly look past/through you if they aren't interested (gross generalisation, of course). So its refreshing, how two people can be very different and still have good, interesting conversation  I feel like its not such a meat market here, people want to be friends first, before anything else.

Not that I'm england bashing, or ever will be (obviously, since england is superior in every way).
But I'll probably end up comparing the countries by default, because england is the only other place I've ever lived!


*ysa - 'young single adults' is a term we use in my church, mormons my age who hang out and have fun together, do stuff.

Don't Judge a Book

I was walking with the pushchair earlier, with my 3 year old girl inside. We were passing a high school. 

All of a sudden a kid opens the windows of the tall building and shouts:

'Should have used a condom!! Hahahaa!!' 

He obviously thought the child was mine, and that I was around 16 years old. 

Kind of hilarious he automatically thought I was some american girl who got knocked up as a teenager. 

And now had to skip school to look after her baby. 

Couldn't be farther from the truth! 

I'm here on a visa which is EXTREMELY hard to get, working in childcare and having the year of my life in a foreign country. 

Who's the loser now?

ElectionNight

Four for you Barack Obama, you go Barack Obama!

And none for Mitt Romney, bye.

PASS. Get in.

Practical test today..

As I waited in a queue of 6 cars, there was no one else behind me. It soon became apparent 1 small thing stood between the examiner and lunch.

Me.

This could either mean she was moody, ratty and less likely to pass me, or it could mean she was more lax .. 

I prayed for the situation to work in my favour. Oh how it did. 

I still can't work out if American tests are dirt easy, or if she wanted food.
Perhaps both.  

I drove for about TEN minutes, with only 1 tricky intersection.
Rolled out to get better vision and nearly bumped into some pedestrians. I thought I'd failed there, but they literally appeared from thin air so I guess examiner lady took pity.
Or maybe she was deliberating which sauce to have on her meatball sub. 

I did one maneuver, reverse along the 'sidewalk', which was fine, though I got a mark for not using the back window enough. 

Then she told me go to back to the DMV, park, and I was done! 

In old blighty, I remember frantically trying to commit tyre pressure gauges and tread depths to memory, along with how to open the bonnet, point out the windscreen washer, brake fluid and other jazz that (lets face it) female drivers will never again voluntarily touch.

None of that here, I was asked to point out the wipers, hazards, lights, horn, and indicators. Literally idiot proof, my kind of test.

Road trips here I come..
Trips to school, nursery and play group that is, I'm so hardcore!! 

The only ship that won't ever sink?

A friendshippppp.

Yes that's right, that is my unashamedly cheesy intro to my next post.

I have friends, I have a friendship group, just like that.

Yesssss.

Tonight, I'm going to see Elder Packer speak (that's casual around here, no big, right..pah!), then I'm going over to a friends, where a few of us are going to cook food, play games and hang out.
When I left England and arrived here, I was just a me. And now I have an 'us', a 'we', a crew.
Its all so happy and smiley I might start vomiting rainbows and hugging strangers.

Church was fantastic too.. Fast & testimony meeting.
I bore mine*. I was nervous as heck, (especially since everyone listens far too intently when you have an accent - unnerving.com)  but it was actually great because then loads of people spoke to me.
Also I felt kind of weird about making comments in classes, before, for some reason. So it was good to just bear my testimony, blanket announcement - yes, there is a BRIT in the building - and done.
This kind of doesn't make any sense but whatever.

Plans: Obligatory sunday nap, skype the loved ones, and then on to the evening sabbath socials.

Also (for you Libs) this is what I wore to church today.
I think I looked good. It's ok to say that in America.

*For anyone that doesn't know - 'bearing your testimony' is going up to the pulpit in church, and giving a little talk about your feelings for the gospel, things your thankful for, and why and how you know that God loves you.

Happiness is San Francisco

It's 2 a.m., I just got home from the most fantastic night, e v e r.

So much fun, so unplanned, my idea of a good time. 

Allow me to elaborate.. 

My plans to go get mexican were only decided at around half 3 today. 

I can now officially say I've eaten a legit mexican taco (fresh fish, grilled veg - delish). En route from the mexican, a friend from Oakland texts me like 'There's a bonfire at the beach tonight, want to go?'

Turned out 'the beach' was in 'the city' (san fran) and the 'bonfire' was for guy fawkes - (Hollaa Ukkk) 

So an hour later I was chilling on the beach in san francisco with huge bonfires, fireworks, sparklers and trifle to boot! 

Before the Cops came and shut everything down. 

Yea.
Apparently all of the above were illegal, guess they failed to mention that on The OC.. 

There were a few after parties, but our car decided to skip those and head for an art gallery party celebrating 'Dia de los Muertos' - Day of the Dead. I'd never heard of it before, but it was very cool.

The art was.. interesting, but the main event was the dancing. 

Everyone was g e t t i n g down.  

(rubbish) obligatory picture of sf at night 

Such a good night. And we got our faces painted.

Love this place. 

Feeling the love..

..from back home, technology (& whatsapp) is a beaut.

End of the week, happy Friday!!

Off out to be introduced to the magical world of Mexican, by a guy who cannot believe I've never had a burrito..

All Hallows Eve

Halloween in America is.. Wonderfully exhausting.

Princess Peach and the Mario Bros crossing the road. As you  do. 

Today I took the kids trick or treating.

They do it a bit differently here, and all the local shops get involved and give out sweets.
ALL the shops. Even BANKS. (imagine 20 kids running into Natwest and getting anything but a frosty glare..)

Some shops went so hard, I don't see how they weren't losing money!
An ice cream shop was giving out free scoops, Starbucks free cups of hot chocolate (though obviously I don't feel sorry for them) one local patisserie was giving out free MERINGUES.
Home-made, light, delicate meringues with a gorgeous raspberry sauce.

Wasted on kids who were literally smashing them into their faces, and they can't have been cheap to make.

Free Ice Cream (because naturally kids need MORE sugar on Halloween) 

We went up and down shops for about 2 hours. It was long, but really nice, there were lots of kids and parents, and a lovely sense of community.

That foreign word again, community.

I've figured it out though, (one of) the social differences between the UK and the US.

In England, its 'Why would I talk to X?'
In America, its 'Why wouldn't I talk to X?'
And it applies to everything, they do everything together here! Its very different.

Sometimes, when I get asked for 20th time 'what brings you to Berkeley' I would love some London Tube mentality to be adopted. But for the most part, its great.

But I digress. Halloween was lovely.

My first party

I had the BEST time last night. Halloween party at the Berkeley ward mansion - So. Good.

Great music, great costumes, amazing people, great venue, brilliant vibe.. Loved it.

USA Lesson number 1

At YSA fireside, and in jest, I didn't return this guys high five.

Quote of the day.. (he said with a totally straight face):

'You cannot ignore an American's high five. It physically hurts us.'

Hilarious!! Noted my friend, noted. 

Never have I ever

.. Seen this much food in my L I F E.

Thankyou Berkeley Bowl, for schooling me on food.

Also thankyou for the Brit aisle.
But get some milk choc digestives asap, what are you trying to do to me?

The Right Side

Today, I drove.

As in, the right side of the road. 

On the left side of the car. 

Insanity.

My instructor: 

'So you've driven before? 'Yea, in England. We drive on the left so..' 

'How long you been driving?' 'Well since I was 18 so 4 years, but that was in England.' 

'So you're a good driver?' 'Yea, in England!' 

'Ohh, no big deal, you'll be fine, you get right behind the wheel!' 

Clearly she wasn't understanding the gravity of the situation..

Turned out she was a great instructor, very chill and put me at ease. I was fine! 

There are, of course things I need to work on (intersections for example - the right of way is based on who gets there first. Seriously. Like musical chairs) but overall I was ok. I need lots of practice and I'm sure I'll pass the test. 

Unfortunately, I'm ridiculously competitive and hate not being good at things immediately.
Who is there to compete against? Myself.
Yep, its that bad. 

I can't wait until I get good at it, the day it doesn't freak me out, I don't have the urge to turn into oncoming traffic and I don't get lost, will be the day I know I've made it as a CA driver. 

Bring it onnn!    

'You saand like you iz from Lannndannn'

.. That's what I heard today about 5 mins before I sat my drivers permit test..

Thank you Russel Brand for that gem.

It was quite funny actually, a huge, black american dude putting on a (terrible) 'English' accent, presumably to make me feel at home! 

More importantly, I passed the theory and got my permit! I had to wait in a setting disconcertingly similar to the visa building debacle in London, but it was worth it - woooo! 

So I have my 1st driving lessons tomorrow. Blaeguuhhhg hfsdfhipsfhonsn I'm scaredddd.
But I shall man up & power through. 

Tonight I went to Target, and found, to my surprise, a whole Boots aisle. It made me feel right at home, who knew that little blue symbol could mean so much.

Speaking of, my host dad bought me Ribena, as a 'home comfort'. Ribena?! Don't they have that everywhere?! 

Then I saw the label - 'Made with British Blackberries' - Who. Knew. Perhaps everyone, but I've never noticed/read/cared about that little label before.  

Vimto too, as if Americans don't have Vimto in their lives, EVERYONE needs Vimto in their life. 

And do not even get me started on digestives. And hob nobs. Seriously.

Anyway. Loving life, 2nd day of proper work tomorrow, there's lots to do, but it's all about routine I guess. I got this y'all
Lots of love to good ole En-ger-land!! 

Newbie at the Student Ward

Guys, I went to church today. (I walked for half an hour. Again, without getting lost or run over, wooo)

And I Made. Friends.

Yayyyy!!

Going to a fireside later, with some really nice girls in my ward, should be fun!

Hay Y'all

Today marks 2 momentous occasions:

1. I went for my first solo walk in the neighbourhood.
This is way bigger than it sounds, since I managed to avoid getting run over, and also did not get lost. As you all know, both are a huge deal for Nicole.

2. My first hay ride. Also the first time I've sat on a bale of hay. Or gone through a hay maze, or heard country & western live. And picked a pumpkin.. All of these things simultaneously equal..

A Pumpkin Patch!!

We drove maybe 30 mins out of town and suddenly I'm in deep midwest. Ok obviously I wasn't but we did go to Marin County. Everyone goes for Halloween prep (that's right, actual weeks in advance) to select from tons of pumpkins on this ranch thingie in the middle of nowhere. It was very cool!

I repeat: Middle. of. Nowhere 

Legit American yo

Welcome to the good life..

Got here last night, its fantastic!! I'm actually H E R E, in Berkeley.

Cool to finally arrive after all the planning and the hype and stuff.
Kinda weird that it doesn't feel weird, the normality of everything, I feel totally at home (I know I'm adaptable but this takes it to a new level).
My street is an average, normal street. Nothing fancy, very chill, very American, the area has a lot of students, its nice.
It has a lot of character, lots going on, I like it.

The family are wonderful. I feel comfortable already, nothing is awkward (which there's a lot of potential for since I've essentially moved in with strangers) they've made me gifts, given me flowers and a freshly decorated, beautiful room. The kids are total cuties and they seem fun.
They'll definitely keep me busy but we'll have a good time this year I'm sure.

Today I drove around the area and explored a little, (when I say 'drove' I mean I was driven, whilst trying not to squeal repeatedly as we made turns onto the 'wrong' side of the road). Then this evening there was a school event for the boys -  a pot luck.
The parents of the children in 1 class bring food and all the kids and parents eat dinner together.
'..But why?' I asked my host 'mom'
'No reason', she shrugs. 'To promote community'

Would this ever happen in England? The answer my friends, is a very British, no. We just about managed jubilee street parties, before gratefully retreating back to denying the existence of our neighbours.

It was cute though, everyone eating outside together, playing games, holding hands, making tie dye tshirts..

I exaggerate, but it was lovely, and my first introduction to the weird & wonderful cultural differences of California.

Its going to be a good year.

PJs courtesy of Mama and the sewing crew - THANKS you guys!! 

Next stop Berkeley

Said bye to my girls in NY, and now waiting for my flight to CA!!
(Airport Jamba juice and donut of course, mandatory)

Life so far..

My lovely, extremely New Yorkan driver, CJ 

Our ny tour guide

Lena & I 

Fie, Hanna, Lena & I

Lena's Incredible photography 

Time Square

Little piece of heaven in NY ;)

Where Joey from Friends does his 'performances'

The road where Friends was filmed 

I thought I loved London, but making room in my heart for a new addition!