Fun times with the US Governement

I am petrified of the US government. As well as US officials, customs people and any American in uniform.
Its just not like England, they have GUNS. No laughing matter.
In England we'll accept the odd murderer/convict into the country, for fear of insulting someone lest we not be truly British and polite.
In the US you are literally a criminal until proven otherwise.
On past family holidays, all I remember about the airport are the US customs officials and their cold dead stares as I shook through security queues. 'They aren't even kind to kids..' I thought.

Obviously, living in the US for a year, I'll need a visa. I hadn't really thought about this step in the process, didn't think things would be moving so fast. But indeed, the other day I was advised by the agency to call the US embassy.
The conversation pretty much went as follows..

'I'll need to take your name?'
'Nicole. Uh Nicole Allen, sorry Nicole, C.. Wait! Do you need my initial too? Sorry, uhh Nicole. C Allen. Sorry.. sorry.'
'..... Alright. And how will you be paying your non-refundable visa payment today?'
'Sorry, uh excuse me? I didn't realise..'
'You pay for the visa now, whilst you book the appointment'
'But what if.. what if I, what happens if I don't get a visa?'
'Well then its non-refundable Nicole C Allen.'

Off to a cracking start.
I then got all the way through to the end where she was confirming the interview, when my phone lost signal and cut me off. Perfection.
I called back, only to find the same delightful woman who loathed me answer again.
Anyway I booked the appointment, paid the £100 NON REFUNDABLE visa charge and now I have 13 documents I need to get ready before I go to the interview, which is in a couple weeks. Hurrah!
If that's how successful the phone call went, I'm.. interested to see what goes down at the actual interview..