Wednesday, 15 May 2013

It's about that time..

I'm back, by popular demand (/nagging from certain people, you know who you are)

Up today..

-Beautiful Native American Dad (BNAD) has.. a BROTHER?! Whatttt?
-Public transport girl crush
-A 'homeless' lady conned me into buying her food
-A woman collapses in front of me mid-run


That's all up next, after the short break sponsored by.. Dominican Ventures (oooo.. ahhhh...)

If you love white beaches.. 
..caving adventures..
.. beautiful brown people.. 

..dune buggies.. 
..paragliding..
.. daily marriage proposals from resort staff named Julio..

..geeky snorklers.. 

.. and crystal clear water.. 
Then the DR is the place for YOU - Book Now.

(Proposals sold separately) 

Glad to have you back!

Okay, first up, BNAD has a younger more beautiful brother. Who, we assume, is not a dad. 
He was at pick up today, and though unaccompanied by BNAD himself, through sufficient analytics (read: stalking) of BNAD, I have the expertise to immediately identify those genes of perfection.
Exciting times.

Girl crush - I spied a girl I liked the look of so much I almost initiated 4 year old befriending methods 'What's your name? Mine's Nicole, lets be friends?' 
Why doesn't it work like that anymore..
No, instead, I sat and covertly stared.
And covertly photographed.
Like a creepy creeper creeping.
In the name of blogging guys, all for you. (80% chance that defence would flop in court) 

Hair au naturale, clothes funky and baggy.. like looking in a mirror.
Instead of bars where you pick up members of the opposite sex, there should totally be a bar..  for friends.
'I've seen you around.. And I just feel like we could be besties. For real. Don't be freaked out.. Oh ..okay..'

Ok, on to the 'homeless' lady. Went something like this..

'Excuse me, could you help me get some food?'
'Sure, I just went to the bakery, would you like this?'
'Uh, does that have sugar in it.. because I'm a diabetic.'
'Oh, um yea..'
'There's actually a place down the street that does a really great croissant. Bacon, cheese, sausage, but NO EGG. Could you get that for me?'
'Uh, um yea, okay'

Ten mins after I give her the food, she pulls out a decent looking mobile and starts having a chat.
Conned. And I missed my bus. No good deed goes unpunished, ey eyyy?
But no worries, good story!

Lastly..
I was running to the chapel tonight, dum de dum, puffing up the hill, crossing the road..
A Woman, Mid Fourties, COLLAPSES INTO THE PAVEMENT, right before my eyes. Reaches for the man with her, TAKES HIM DOWN TOO, crumpled heap.
It was all very dramatic, I ran over, she was on her back, looked dizzy.. I asked if she was okay, debated whether to call an ambulance (which apparently no one does in America, bc you have to pay 600 ridiculous dollars for it - good one private healthcare, good one.)
She declined an ambulance, said she was fine.
Was more concerned about where I was from 'You have an ACCENT!' and the state of her appearance 'I'm wearing a wig you see'.
I helped them both up and they went on their merry way.

So there we have it, my internet contribution for the next foreseeable months.

I'm Nicole, and you've been wonderful, Thanks for stopping by.



2 comments:

  1. Wow - that's a weird old collection of happenings. I think the girl crush is definitely one to pursue (unless I shouldn't mention the word 'sue' , which she might, if you start stalking her. Domincia looks like Antigua, which is where we're off to at half term - can't wait! And you don't look like a geek snorkeller - you look like beautiful tropical fish instead. GLad you're still having more fun than you can handle. Oh - and you just missed out on returning as Ella/Ruby nanny - Sara has a job for 16 weeks. What's that? Yeah, I know, I didn't think you'd REALLY want to come back just yet! Keep it up - us vicarious folk like hearing about your adventures. x

    ReplyDelete
  2. i loled through all of thissss

    ReplyDelete

Sharing is caring..